


The Time that Derek was Desperate for Spencer to Know

by KittyPadackles



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Basically, M/M, Moreid, Odd Thomas loosely based, Spoilers, dilaudid use, help me i have a bad obsession with how this ended, poor Morgan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:10:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3446669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyPadackles/pseuds/KittyPadackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He turns and looks at Spencer, seeing the same old Spencer that hasn’t said a word in six months. Hotch put a doubt in Morgan’s mind. Is there something wrong with his pretty boy? Something he missed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time that Derek was Desperate for Spencer to Know

**Author's Note:**

> I warn you for the monstrosity that I have created

“No, no I don’t want it, no, please.” Spencer looks at Tobias, eyes wide and pleading. This would be the third time that Tobias would have injected him with Dilaudid. Spencer doesn’t want to admit it, but his plead isn’t as deniable for the drug as he wants it to be. 

Spencer watched the needle come toward his arm, and as the tip got closer to his skin, the more his body started to shake, craving the clear substance. Then, there’s the now familiar feeling of slight pain, but then it’s replaced with a feeling of bliss and relaxation as he feels a hallucination come on. 

 

Back at the BAU office, in the conference room, the remainder of the team watches in horror as Reid pleads for his life, only to be injected anyway, They don’t say so, but they can hear a change of tone in the genius’s plea. He sounds   
hesitant, like he doesn’t want to play, like he… “Actually wants the drugs.” Derek Morgan mumbles aloud, catching the attention of his coworkers.

“What are you talking about?” David Rossi sits up in his chair, finally tearing his eyes away from the small screen. “Are you talking about Reid?”  
Morgan nods, looking at the lanky agent on the screen, head lolled back as he moans silently. “Reid actually wants the drugs. Hankel is making him addicted!” His voice rises on the end, almost like he’s furious with the unsub that currently has the love of his life in custody.

Spencer doesn’t know, of course, how Derek feels about him. Derek tried to keep it that way for as long as possible, building up the courage to tell him himself soon enough. Now that Derek is ready, Spencer might die within the next few days.

“We need to find Spencer, and fast.” Aaron Hotchner commands in his usual authoritative voice. “Wheels up immediately.” He commands, before leaving the room. Hotch wouldn’t say it, but he’d do anything for his team, especially Spencer, whom he sees as a close son.

 

The team was out looking for Spencer, who was leaning back in his chair, panting heavily. He watches as Tobias leaves the room, leaves the house entirely. He doesn’t have a choice, there’s nowhere else to look besides the screens of people’s homes, their lives ticking away by the second. 

Tobias appears on one of the screens, and waves to the camera. “Don’t!” Reid is screaming over and over, although he knows that Tobias can’t hear him, he does it anyway. He needs to feel that he at least tried to do everything he could to save the person. 

Tobias approaches the soon-to-be-victim and then Reid is shaking, and he’s stressed, and he starts to long for a fix of dilaudid because then that would make him feel better because that calms him, but the doses are on Tobias, who’s now killing his next victim. 

“No!” Reid is screaming now instead of don’t, and the victim falls to the ground, and so does Reid, figuratively. He goes limp because he never felt more useless in his life, and he never wants to feel this way again, and now he’s dizzy with need for dilaudid, which makes him feel more helpless because he knows he’s an addict now, but he really doesn’t care.  
Which worries him even more.

 

But what gives him a little bit of hope it when he looks up at the screens, before Tobias gets back, and sees that Morgan and Rossi are talking into the camera, talking to him, he thinks that maybe he isn’t going to die today.

He spoke too soon.

Because here he was, watching with greed as Tobias injected him with another dosage, when his body goes numb, a new sensation from the last several times. Then he begins coughing, and he can’t breathe, and he collapses, the chair falling backward, as he is choking and soon enough, he nearly goes blind from a white light, before everything is black. 

 

Rossi is holding Morgan, his arms pinned to his back as the latter watches the screen they had came across, the one they were watching earlier, where Reid had just collapsed backwards.  
Morgan had started to fall, before Rossi had caught him, and then he had started to struggle, trying to break free of the older agent’s hold, because he had wanted to run around the small town as far as he could, as long as he needed, until he found Spencer.

“Can you trace the signal, Garcia?” Rossi is asking, and Morgan doesn’t hear her reply, he doesn’t care for it. He’s watching his love not breath, hoping, praying to someone he doesn’t believe in anymore that he wakes up, that he doesn’t die here and now. 

He can’t die, not yet, not when Morgan hasn’t told him how he felt about him. He needs to know that Reid knows, even if he doesn’t feel the same about him.

It’s fifteen minutes later when Tobias rushes back into the room that Spencer is in, and starts to revive him. It’s two minutes later that Spencer is okay again, and Morgan collapses into a chair, relieved. It’s twenty three minutes later that Spencer starts talking, and all of a sudden, the team knows where he is.

They were going through the cemetery when they heard a gunshot go off. “Reid!” Morgan takes off, tearing down through the tombstones, tripping over several. But that doesn’t slow him down, he just keeps on running, until he sees a house, and then he sees Reid and Tobias, and he feels a surge of relief to see Reid standing.

Morgan rushes forward, pulling Reid into his arms, and buries his face in his neck, breathing in the familiar mint and textbook smell Spencer always carries around with him. 

“I love you, Spencer.” Morgan is mumbling over and over again, repetitively, until he hears Spencer choke out, “I know, Morgan. I’ve always known. I love you…” His voice trails off, too sore to speak anymore. But that’s okay with Morgan.

Morgan pulls back, and smiles softly at Spencer, pushing back his short hair. He’s crying, but he doesn’t know why. Maybe because he’s happy that Spencer is alive. 

 

Morgan had Spencer move all of his things into Morgan’s apartment three days later. He even helped, and by that, Morgan moved all of the furniture and items into his apartment while Spencer sat on Morgan’s couch, reading.  
Hotch gave Morgan temperal leave, three weeks, although Morgan wasn’t sure why. Hotch only gives temperal leaves off when someone the person loves dies. No one that Morgan knew died, but he didn’t question it. He always loves time off. That meant more time with Spencer.

Spencer never talked anymore. It was almost like he was dead. But that doesn’t matter to Morgan. He was able to still hold him, and play with his hair, kiss him. 

Spencer and Morgan never returned to work. They were never called back. However, six months after Reid’s capture, Hotch shows up to Morgan’s door, face serious.

“What are you doing here, Hotch?” Morgan asks, looking between Hotch and Spencer. Spencer stands behind Morgan, holding his arm with his hand in a casual pose. “Do you want us to come back to work?” 

Hotch looks at Morgan sadly. “There is no us, Morgan, you know that. You saw what had happened that day.” He’s clearly referring to six months ago, with Tobias.

“Spencer survived, and moved in with me.” Morgan states, simply. He had to say that at least seven times a day when he talked to his coworkers. Did they somehow forget something so traumatic? 

Hotch just shakes his head. “Is Spencer here?” He asks, looking at a space on the wall behind Morgan, almost like just by looking in his eyes was too painful. 

Morgan nods. “He’s right behind me, stop playing Hotch. What is this about?” 

Hotch doesn’t answer his question, he just replies with, “Look at him.”

So Morgan does.

He turns and looks at Spencer, seeing the same old Spencer that hasn’t said a word in six months. Hotch put a doubt in Morgan’s mind. Is there something wrong with his pretty boy? Something he missed? 

Then he sees it.

Morgan blinks and Spencer is back in the clothes he was wearing six months ago, his hair matted and bloodied, his clothes in the same state. Blood is flowing down his temple, coming from a large gunshot wound to the frontal lobe. 

That’s why Spencer never talked. “Because the dead don’t talk.” That’s why Spencer looked dead. Morgan mutters. Spencer looks at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. 

 

The team was going through the cemetery when they heard a gunshot go off. “Reid!” Morgan takes off, tearing down the cemetery, through the tombstones, tripping over several. That doesn’t slow him down. He sees a house, and approaches it at full speed. 

He comes up the back, and sees Tobias behind Spencer, a gun on the ground, next to Spencer’s body. Morgan doesn’t hesitate, he cocks his gun, shooting Tobias point blank through the forehead. 

“Spencer.” Morgan is by his side, checking his pulse, finding a slight pulse. “He’s alive!” Morgan yells back to his team that is rapidly approaching. He turns back to the injured one. “Spencer can you hear me?” Spencer nods slightly, and Morgan tries to stop the bleeding from his wound. 

“I love you Spencer.” Morgan begins to mutter repeatedly, pushing his hair out of his face.

“I know, I’ve always known.” Spencer replies, choking out the words. “I love you…” his voice trails off, and he stops breathing. Morgan leans forward, pressing his forehead against Reid’s chest, hollow and cold.   
Hotch, Rossi, Prentiss, and JJ arrive to the scene to find Morgan crying hard over Spencer’s dead body.

 

“Spencer…” Morgan mutters, but the boy is gone, and Morgan is left with a sharp pain in his chest, one that he knows he will never be able to fix.

And he doesn’t, as he became reckless in work, going straight into danger, eventually getting himself killed in action three weeks later. Morgan never told anyone, but he was hoping that it would happen, so he would be with Spencer again, no matter where they ended up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry oops. I really liked watching Odd Thomas almost a year ago, and I thought of this a few weeks ago. It came out well :D


End file.
